NEW YORK, NY - Former Presidential adviser and all around strange guy, Roger Stone, was finally arrested by the Fashion Police Division of Special Investigator Robert Mueller on charges that include "wearing a bowler hat in the 21st century," as well as, "always wearing those stupid Harry Potter glasses," and the most egregious being, "having a Richard Nixon back tattoo."
The charges were expected for sometime since Roger Stone has been dressing like a 14 year old boy with deep pockets since the late seventies. The evidence against him is fairly damning and countless photos exist to prove his guilt. In a rare turn of events the Mueller probe released this statement about the arrest:
"Arresting Mr. Stone on these fashion related charges has been the easiest call we have had to make as an investigative team since this probe started two years ago. We are sure of his guilt almost as much as we are that Donald Trump is sure that Rudy Giuliani will end up getting him impeached."
When reached for comment, Mr. Stone had nothing to say but instead flourished his boat cloak about as he pranced down the sidewalk being led away by Federal Agents.