WASHINGTON D.C. - To welcome the recent National College Football Champions to the White House, the President decided to no roll out the red carpet, rather he brought out the Golden Arches. Due to the government shutdown, most White House staff were deemed unessential to the day to day operations of the US Government, including the catering staff, but oddly not including the President himself.
Without any working aides to advise him against such an impressive display of being a cheapass, tasteless pile of white trash that he is, the President thought the Clemson Tigers would enjoy his favorite foods of all time, the delicacy in America known world wide as McDonald's.
Not wanting to disappoint, the President wasn't going to just give the team McDonald's but he used the powers appointed to him by our Founding Fathers in the Constitution of the United States, the most sacred document ever written, the pillar of democracy that stands tall over so many fallen republics, the key words that make this country so very great, to demand McRibs even though they are off season.
Not only did he secure the McRibs, he also made sure none of the Kid's Meals he ordered had apple slices, instead they all contained fries. Sources on the scene also indicated that the President had his limo enter the drive-thru backwards so he didn't have to scoot over to order.
This reportedly caused a three hour delay at the window while the 1,200 sandwiches were being made. Oddly enough when the President arrived at the White House only 1,182 sandwiches were taken out of the limo, along with several paper bags just filled to the rim with wrappers.