US Government Enjoys Longest Vacation In 242 Years
UNITED STATES - The US Government is in the midst of the longest shutdown in the history of the country and to be honest, it's just what it needed. Two hundred and forty two years without a month long vacation can be stressful for even the world's greatest superpower.
"I mean, this is just the break I needed," said the Government, "I mean I had a nice breather under Obama for a minute and that long one with Clinton, but I gotta give it to Trump, I haven't had this much time off since the Revolutionary War."
The Government had not expected the vacation to last this long and is reportedly running out of ideas for what to do.
"A trip to a National Park seemed like a good idea, but then I remembered, oh yeah, that's off the table, then I thought a nice trip, but yeah, the TSA strike... I just can't stand how much everyone depends on me!"
Vacation aside, the Government is actually looking forward to working again so that democracy can prevail and people can actually get the services they rely on, even if the shutdown was a nice little break from the every day hassles of being the greatest country on the planet.
When asked about President Trump's proposed wall with Mexico, the Government said, "I'm not a fan, I think a 1,954 miles of wall would probably make my southern border look bigger than it is... and you know what they say, everything is bigger in Texas already."