REPORT: Doctors Say Billy Joel Only Has 87 Piano Man Performances Left In Him

LONG ISLAND, NY - Famed Grammy Award winning musician Billy Joel received grave news from a team of medical specialists today after a routine checkup. Analysis of Joel's blood work showed that the singer only had 87 performances of his iconic song Piano Man left in his system.


The scientists blame the extensive touring of the musical legend, combined with the record breaking residency at Madison Square Garden which just passed it's 59th consecutive sold out show.

"That kind of strain can put pressure on any performer, but like any hit song, each time you sing it, it takes a little out of you... Billy has sung Piano Man live over 740 times. That's more than we ever thought one entertainer could handle, but our tests are clear. After 87 more performances, well things aren't gonna be pretty," said Dr. James Grand, the leading physician on the team.


"The date should have actually come much sooner, but Billy has been wise to have the audience sing the chorus, allowing him to escape the burden of the song in it's entirety, diminishing it's impact on the 69 year old singer."


With his concert schedule being the way that it is, it seems like Billy Joel may run out of Piano Man steam sometime in late 2022. After that, guests will just have to be pleased with a rendition of Only The Good Die Young, or perhaps Scenes From An Italian Restaurant.


Despite the tragic news, Billy Joel has no plans of stopping anytime soon, and sources close to him say that he is actually looking forward to the day when he never has to play that song again, whether or not the audience is in the mood for a melody.

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