CAMBRIDGE, UK - Famed theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking reportedly passed away this week, leaving behind a legacy unlike any other scientist in the last 50 years. His family was saddened by his passing although the autopsy report indicated that their attention to detail may have been lacking.
The report conducted this morning showed that by even the most conservative estimates, Professor Hawking likely died sometime in January, not this week like initially reported. Certain evidence is beginning to back up this finding now that the results have been released.
Timothy Hawking, Stephen's son, had this to say about his father's death, "You know, dad had been really quiet in the last few months, I just thought after 50 years of being right about everything he wanted to take a break. My brother thought that his voice modulator's battery had died. I dunno, at the end of the day, I am just glad that dad kept his same charm and mannerisms for the last two months, dead or not."
Moving on from the tragedy of this passing, the Hawking family is planning to permanently keep his special wheelchair at the kitchen table as a way to honor their deceased patriarch. "Dad might not be in it, but I have reprogrammed the modulator to randomly spew out his quotes. It's like he's still here," said his son Stephen.