Biologist Trace Flying Fish Origin To One Lonely Seagull That Got Real Weird With Its Dinner 50,000
SAN DIEGO, CA - Researchers at the Scripps Institute of Oceanography released a report this week detailing a breakthrough discovery based on a recently discovered fossil depicting a seagull mating with an ancestor of the modern day salmon. The discovery led scientist to conclude that the puzzling modern day flying fish must be a direct descendant of those two ambition evolutionary pioneers.
The scientists don't have all the details to prove their theory just yet, but Chief Scientist, Jack Marlin of Scripps had this to say about the discovery, "Well, yeah, we aren't one hundred percent sure yet, but I mean, did you see the fossil? That was pretty graphic. I mean to an unsettling degree, and it was clear that they were enjoying it. Like, extremely obvious. As far as the science goes of how the seagull impregnated the fish, we are still trying to figure that out, but I'd like to see you come up with a better explanation for flying fish, have you seen those things? Christ, I'm a scientist and I can't get over how weird those things are."
The team of scientist is preparing to relay their findings to the World Biology Summit in Paris, France next month to an adult only audience. "I wasn't kidding," continued Dr. Marlin, "There is graphic then there is this. That seagull was thoroughly enjoying itself, so much so that it may have just hijacked biology as we know it with pure lust, giving us the abomination that is the flying fish."
Reports indicate that the team is heavily relying on the "Well, what else could it be?" variant of the scientific method to back up their claims.