Humiliated Man Tries a Goatee For a Day, Tries to Play it Off as a Joke Then Dies a Little Inside


SAN DIEGO, CA - Area man, Alexander Petit showed up to work last Monday excited to surprise his friends and colleagues with his subtle new look. "Ever since the Christmas break I've been growing out the beard, honestly been getting great feedback on it, I think today they're really going to like what I've done," said the local salesman about his new facial hair choice.


He had taken a razor to his cheeks, expertly carving away copious amounts of hair until only a scruffy but full goatee remained adorning his otherwise clean shaven look. "This is it, this is the new me," said the ignorantly hopeful Californian, knowing for sure the reaction would have to be positive, while he actively pushed down the idea that if people hated it he would not have the emotional strength to accept such a failure.


Minutes after he arrived at work he quietly waited in his office to see if people would take notice. He reportedly was expecting a flurry of comments to come his way, approving his new choice of facial hair. After a few colleagues passed his office and refused to enter, he decided to pop into the strategy meeting he usually skipped. Accounts of the incident prove that this was a moment of realization for Petit.


"Holy shit, you weren't kidding," said fellow salesman, Jack Morrow to his co-worker Alejandro Dissenger while holding back laughter, "He actually did that, it's hilarious!"


Startled by the less than warm response, Petit chuckled nervously and tried to backpedal his earnest and sincere effort at self-improvement, "Hilarious, haha, yep, I got you, of course it's a joke dude. Totally a joke. Who would ever wear this stupid goatee for real? Ha!" Sources reveal that it was then, Alexander died a little inside knowing now as a fact what he so feared to be true.


Balanced and Fair News' sources uncovered the fact that on Tuesday, Petit did return to work completely clean shaven, but not before briefly contemplating the idea of whether he could pull off a mustache or not, which he couldn't.

Recent Posts