WASHINGTON D.C. – Senate Republicans voted yesterday in favor of the GOP’s tax plan which is expected to pass this week. The bill is aimed at helping struggling Americans who can only afford one yacht per household, which is well below the number of boats per household of the average Congressman.
Speaker of the House Paul Ryan is declaring the bill’s imminent passage as a win for all his constituents who struggle every month to entertain, relax and impress guests with only a single boat. “This bill is designed to give targeted cuts to the Americans that need it the most, not the welfare grabbing poor people who live on handouts, but the hard-working citizens that have no place to hold a Sweet 16 party for their little princess when their one yacht is in the shop.”
The three tenths of one percent of Americans that currently do own leisure craft are excited as well. A member of Paul’s home district, Reginald Von Rockefeller IV, described his difficult situation, “Now with this bill, I can finally afford a second back up boat. I initially couldn’t afford one because I had to pay for the healthcare of my workers, but now that this effectively repeals the Affordable Care Act, I might even splurge for some jet skis.”
President Trump, who is expected to save billions from the cut, is looking forward to purchasing an entire fleet of vessels with his savings after hearing from General Michael Flynn that is was impossible to be arrested in international waters.